Are you struggling with a procrastinator?

Patient communicators … can struggle with procrastination.

In strength, this steady gentle style is one that is warm, welcoming, all about relationship and somewhat more reserved than the playful or powerful styles.  However, they can really struggle with procrastination, they like to change at their pace, if at all. 

What makes a Patient Communicator Difficult?  Well it is their avoidance of change or conflict.  Particularly if you need to get something done and they put up their walls….. this can be very frustrating. However becoming frustrated or aggressive will not result in an outcome, they will just burrow deeper.  One of the most common misconceptions about the Patient Communicator is that they are a push over.  Far from it, they have a backbone of steel!  They may agree with words but they will not follow through so pushing is not the answer.

These guys are all about consistency, predictability and people.  There is no doubt you would have someone with this style in your life, as this is the most common communication style (around 35% of the population).

Patient communicators are described as the glue that holds us all together.  While the Powerful style is trying to control things and make decisions the Playful style is all about fun, the Perfectionist is all about things being right, the Patient style is consistent, caring and loyal.

The Patient style craves predictability, they love processes if someone else sets them up, they will follow the right leader to the very end, and they are committed to their cause.  They will work quietly without the bells and whistles to get the job done.

Don’t expect noise and fan fare.  They are reliable and work to a slower and steadier pace.  They will not cause an uproar and are not likely to speak out against things.  These guys will avoid conflict like the plague, are slower to speak up and want everyone to get along.

I am surrounded by this gentle style, as it is the complete opposite to my powerful and perfectionistic traits.  This style is calm, serene, and peaceful.  They don’t get easily flustered and have the best poker face around (they rarely show their emotions on the outside).

When this style is understood they are a loyal team member; they promote calm and stability and will work tirelessly for a cause.  When misunderstood they can seem quiet, uninvolved, avoidant even passive aggressive.

Change is a really big issue for this communicator, they crave consistency even if it is destructive.  They are quite like the ostrich putting their head in the sand thinking the issue will just go away.  As you may imagine, facing an issue and trying to work through with this style, can be extremely difficult.  The harder you push the more they shut down.

However, as it is with all of the styles each of us brings our own unique strengths to the table.  The patient and stable style brings about much needed calm and consistency, without them it would feel like utter madness.  

The key, if you relate to this, is to realise that procrastination can be a real problem.  It stems from your dislike of change.  If you struggle with the idea of change a good place to start is firstly to know this, then to look at change in a few different ways, including the positive side of it.

So if you are struggling for outcomes with one of these communicators here are some tips;

To help them deal with change the key is gentle support, they do not respond to harsh, blunt or pushy communication.  They want to be spoken to in a helpful supportive manner.  They also need time to process ideas.  They are not as quick to do things as the Powerful or Playful Communicators.  So you may say something like “I have noticed the blah project is falling behind, can we sit down together and go through some ways we can work together to get it back on track?  I have time on Wednesday or Friday can you let me know when will work for you?”  The give them time to respond.  All of this must be done with open supportive and calm body language and a warm tone. 

The most important thing for these guys is to be supported, to have a friendly response and for you to keep your tone warm and your face smiling.  Don’t be mean or speak down to them, this will force them to shut down and will not aid a better connection.

Do not keep avoiding a problem if you have one; that is not the answer.  The first step may be to understand yourself a little more and to do that you can uncover your Communication strengths, style and struggles with our online course.  It costs as much a takeaway pizza, so it is well worth it!  You can find out more here.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Conscious Communicator.

Let’s change our world for the better one conversation at a time

Are you dealing with a chatterbox?

Have you ever had to deal with a Chatterbox?  Someone who loves to talk, tell stories and uses many more words than necessary?  They are lovely but if you are short on time, or impatient it can be tricky.  Their catch cry is, “look at me, like me, appreciate me!”

Last time we spoke about Powerful Communicators, today we will talk about Playful communicators. The Playful communicator is one that is warm, fun and engaging.  These guys are all about relationship and having fun.  If you know someone with this style they can range from warm and friendly to zany and the life of the party.

What makes a Playful Communicator Difficult?  It can be their zany, crazy, chaotic, fun loving energy that may drive some people mad.

This style does not care so much for organisation, rules, processes, work – it is simply not colourful or fun enough.  As you can imagine, if you work with this style and don’t understand them, you could be having some frustrations.  These guys are very good at motivating and energising people to do the work, not necessarily doing the work themselves. They can be easily distracted by something that is bright and shiny!

I am surrounded by the Playful style; I think it is because I am so driven and full of order and work that I need help to lighten up.  My husband is Playful and he will often grab me when I am in the middle of working just to tell me a joke or get me to watch a silly cartoon.  He brings so much laughter into my life.  I do remember noticing initially that ‘I’ could see this interruption as inconvenient.  Especially when I was in the middle of something I needed to finish or achieve.  Then I realised that I was prioritising my work, my achievement over a beautiful connection with my husband, so I changed my focus.  I saw him in all of his beautiful fun loving nature and I connected with him.  Oh what a good decision!

When this style is understood they make such great friends and teammates, when misunderstood they can seem selfish and self-centred.  Like all of the styles we need to understand the differences and work on how we can best unite to bring out the best in all of us.  We all bring something special and unique to the work and home environment.

So if you are struggling for airtime with one of these communicators here are some tips;

To keep them on track you need to speak up and be firmer with your boundaries.  You can say things like, “I’d love to hear this story but I need to be in a meeting now, so please tell me later”.  Or by making it sound like a friendly and fun game, “give it to me in 5 words or less.”  This is a great way if you know them really well. 

The most important thing for these guys is to be noticed, to have a friendly response and for you to keep your tone warm and your face smiling.  Don’t be mean or speak down to them, this will hurt their feelings and will not aid a better connection.

Do not keep avoiding the issue if one exists; that is not the answer.  The first step may be to understand yourself a little more and to do that you can uncover your Communication strengths, style and struggles with our online course.  It costs as much a takeaway pizza, so it is well worth it!  You can find out more here.

Until next time, Care, Connect and be a Conscious Communicator.

Let’s change our world for the better one conversation at a time.